


Rules Of Yaoi

by AlicesOwnWonderland



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 01:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4328535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlicesOwnWonderland/pseuds/AlicesOwnWonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Well, Roderich has found an interesting document on Gilbert's computer... Written with magicormuggle. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules Of Yaoi

Roderich clucked his tongue in utter distaste as he looked upon Gilbert's laptop. He absolutely disproved of what was currently open.

'Rules of Yaoi,' he read. His lip curled slightly as he crossed his legs while sitting on his chair in the study. Did he even dare begin to read it? It obviously had to be another one of Gilbert's things to annoy him. He shouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he read it. But . . . he wanted to know! With a heavy sigh, he clicked on the page and began to read.

Opening the front door Gilbert gave a loud yell, "Yo! Roddy! The awesome has arrived home! KesKesKes." He shut the door behind him and gave a small frown, "Roddy?" he called out, not hearing his favorite Austrian.

Walking into the study Gilbert saw the Austrian on his laptop. "Hey what is so awesome on that computer that makes it more important than me?" he asked with a whine as he sat on the edge of the desk with his arms crossed over his chest.

Roderich gave him a cold glare that could freeze ice, as impossible as it sounds, and turned the laptop towards him. "Will you explain to me what type of joke this is?" He hissed, completely unamused.

"Was?" the Prussian asked and looked at the computer screen. A large grin spread across the face of the male as he began to laugh, holding onto his sides as he stopped himself from falling off the desk.

"Roderich…" he laughed, "That isn't a joke." He leaned back. "It's actually true!" he continued his laughing. "Meine ripen!" he continued to laugh and hold onto his sides enjoying the foul look from the Austrian.

"Do you actually think this is funny, Prußen?" He hissed angrily, placing the laptop on the sidetable and standing over him.

Having already stopped his laughing, the red eyed male looked up at the aristocrat, he nodded his head, "Jah, it's really funny." He stated, "Because you fit all the rules perfectly. KesKesKes."

Roderich's eye twitched before he could contain himself and he stalked off angrily as he headed to his piano room, not even bothering to maintain eye contact with the Prussian as he tried to hold back furious tears.

"Roddy?" he asked as he stood himself up and ran after the other male, "Roddy! Listen!" he said and grabbed the others arm so they were facing one another, "It's just some rules that someone made up…like Lizzy," he said trying to make the male feel better.

"Es tut mir leid," He muttered softly and gave the Austrian a soft kiss on the cheek. "Please don't be mad at me."

Roderich pouted slightly before sighing and kissing Gilbert softly. "Ich vergebe dir," he murmured softly.

Gilbert smiled some and wrapped his arms around the male, "Are you really mad about that? They are just silly rules." He said with a devilish grin. "Rules that not even I can break. KesKesKes."

"And why, exactly can't they be broken?" Roderich raised a delicate eyebrow.

"My dear Österreicher," The Prussian laughed, "Lets test these rules KeskesKes."

"You're. On." Roderich hissed before dragging him to the bedroom by the collar of his black shirt.

Rule One: Uke is the Shortest

Gilbert grabbed his other laptop where the rules were also stored and the two of them looked through the rules, "My dear, you are the shortest." He said as the two of them stood up and the Prussian was in fact taller. "That means you take it, like always." He smirked.

"Not a chance, Prußen." He hissed before shoving Gilbert down on the bed and straddling him as he drug him in a heated angry kiss.

"You know it's…" Gilbert lost his train of thought as he was kissed. Grabbing Roderich, the Prussian was able to flip them around so Gilbert was the one doing all the straddling.

Ending the kiss, Gil smirked down at the other, "That inch means a lot to me, because if I was shorter then you I would be the one on the bottom right now, not you."

Roderich growled. "I thought you wanted to try and break the rules."

Gilbert laughed, "Not that one."

Roderich smirked. "And here I thought you were a rebel."

"There are still five other rules to break my dear." The Prussian purred as he kissed at the Austrian's neck.

Roderich growled as he struggled to turn so he was back on top.

"Das ist nicht passiert," Gilbert teased and continued to kiss him, "Are you going to give up on breaking this rule?" he asked and watched the male with his lustful ruby red eyes.

Roderich repressed the moan working up his throat stubbornly and glared at the Prussian. "Nein," he hissed, squirming from under him.

Gilbert sat himself down on Roderich's stomach, "Your call then." He gave a shrug of his shoulders. "I can sit here all day." He leaned towards the others face and removed his glasses and set them on the night stand before he started his assault of kisses on the Austrian's neck.

Roderich gave a soft moan that was quickly cut off as he bit down on his lip hard. He wouldn't give Gilbert the satisfaction. He couldn't. He knew if he did this long enough, Gilbert might get frustrated enough to let him top. Anyway, his pride as a man was on the line. He had to do this.

He smirked, "You are more determined than most days." He laughed some as he began his work on unbuttoning Roderich's shirt.

Roderich pouted cutely as he made tears well up in his eyes, trying to make Gilbert feel at least a little guilty in taking control like this.

Gilbert looked up at Roderich and did feel bad seeing the tears in the other's eyes. "We haven't even done anything and you are crying, how unawesome."

"Well maybe if you showed your appreciation of me a little more by allowing me to top at least once," Roderich whined, "Then I wouldn't be crying."

"Once a Uke, always a Uke." He purred and cleared the other's eyes.

Roderich pouted again as real, unwanted tears welled up in his eyes. "But I don't want to be Uke. I actually want to be the one to make you feel good tonight."

"You are ruining the mood." Gilbert sighed and moved so he was sitting on the side of bed, "Prude." He muttered.

Roderich's heart burned with pain and he quickly turned away, gritting his teeth. He refused to take it. He wasn't a prude. Gilbert knew that. Didn't he?

Rule Five: Once a Uke or Seme, always a Uke or Seme. It will never be possible to 'switch it up'

Gilbert sighed and turned around and wrapped his arms around Roderich, "Come on, Roddy." He said softly, "Is that really what you want is to be the Seme?" he asked as he kissed the other's neck softly.

Roderich turned to him. "Why does it matter if I want to be?" He asked in a tearful voice and he silently cursed before clearing his throat.

"You know that I love you and if that's what you want…" he sighed, "I can make it happen…just once though!" he said as he turned away from the other male and sat there. He couldn't believe he had just agreed to that.

Roderich gave a triumphant smile before kissing Gilbert sweetly. "Danke, libe, ich libe dich," he purred in a sultry voice before pushing him down on the bed and straddling him smoothly.

Gilbert sighed and let himself be pushed onto the bed, "You are so lucky I love you." He hissed.

Roderich gave a sexy smirk that only an aristocrat could pull off and simply kissed him to make him shut up. He quickly began to nibble on Gilbert's bottom lip, asking for entrance despite the fact that Gilbert was now most likely going to make this extremely difficult for him and not do anything for him easily.

He snarled only the way a Prussian could and he crossed his arms over his chest and let the Austrian nibble at his bottom lip before he allowed the other entrance and wrapped his arms around Roderich's neck.

"Danke, libe," Roderich gave a purr of encouragement as the surprisingly agreeable Prussian allowed him entrance after only a minute or so before slyly sliding his piano hands up Gilbert's shirt, delicately tracing his scars in a way that he knew from previous experience made him moan.

"Welcome." He muttered and relaxed into the other's touch, "I've always loved your fingers." He groaned softly.

"I know." He murmured before peppering kisses and soft bites along Gilbert's neck, licking the spots he bit, as he continued to trace them. He knew where every single scar was and what it was caused by. Some, been caused by his very own hand. Roderich swallowed the guilt back before he would let it invade his thoughts and hoping Gilbert hadn't sensed the hesitation but knowing he probably had.

Gilbert let out a soft moan as he ran his fingers through the other's hair, and softly touched the curl before he looked at the other and raised an eyebrow, sensing the hesitation, "Was wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," he murmured back, silently shaking the thoughts and memories out of his head before continuing. He gave a soft moan as Gilbert touched the curl, mostly for Gilbert's benefit so he didn't feel like he wasn't doing anything.

"Well, are you going to get on with it or what?" The Prussian huffed. He would play that game, like foreplay wasn't his favorite thing to do. Nope, today he would make it seem like he had better things to do then to have sex with his favorite person.

Roderich gave a sly smirk. "I thought you loved my foreplay." He murmured before leaning and biting down on the sensitive spot on Gilbert's neck he knew bothered him the most while reaching down and skillfully grabbing Gilbert's cock through his pants. Surprisingly enough, it was halfway erected which made Roderich's smirk grow bigger.

The Prussian rolled his eyes as if he loved foreplay. Yeah, when he was the one doing all the playing. Gasping as the other bit down onto his neck and then being grabbed, oh hell yeah this was what he was waiting for. "Oh Gott." He groaned and leaned towards the Austrian and kissed him heatedly.

Roderich purred but pinned him down so he didn't get any ideas before slipping off Gilbert's shirt. He bit his lip as he saw the scars just as he always did and leaned to kiss the ones he caused lovingly, regret seen in his violet eyes.

Gilbert hissed as he was pinned down and squirmed as his shirt was removed. "Was, Kunersdorf bothering you?" he asked with a smirk. He had gotten over it some time ago, his body was covered in scars and none of them bothered him it was just like his own history lesson painted out on his skin. He watched the Austrian male and bit his own lip back, "I stopped blaming you for that long ago."

"Still," he murmured as he traced the scars with a little more care this time and kissed them gently. "These are my entire fault."

"I didn't say that they were." He said softly and added, "Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going." He looked at the Austrian, "So, are we going to fuck or what? This is so unawesome Roddy, I wouldn't do this to you." And this of course was a lie because on many occasions Gilbert had done the very same thing to the Austrian.

Roderich raised a delicate eyebrow and scoffed. "Liar. You do this all the time."

"Not the point." The Prussian whined. "You wanted to top and you are being lazy just like when I top, get on with it." He gave a childish pout, "So unawesome."

Roderich gave a soft laugh before kissing his pout. "Very well, Prussen. Since you can't seem to have the patience I do." He smirked and slid off of Gilbert and the bed, his pants still hugging his hips deliciously.

Sighing, Gilbert sat himself up and continued his childish pout. He reached over and grabbed the belt loop of Roderich's pants and pulled him back to the bed, "You can't just leave someone as awesome as me just lying there on the bed! KesKes." He gave the pair of pants a good tug and they were soon on the floor.

Roderich shot him a glare that didn't feel like it had the venom he had wanted to portray but never the less, he stepped out of them. "I wasn't leaving you completely. I just had to get something that I bought a while ago." He grumbled before walking over to his dresser and reaching behind it to pull out a box that was hidden well enough that Gilbert hadn't found it obviously or he'd already have used it.

Leaning back into the bed, Gilbert sighed and waited. Seeing the new box in the other's hands, he smiled some, "Whats that?" he asked as he sat himself back up, waiting for the other to join him again.

Roderich smirked before pulling out a sleek, black riding crop and watched Gilbert's reaction with amusement.

The silver haired male smiled, "See that's far more Seme of you." He laughed and stood himself up and stood in front of Roderich, "Was, is that all for me?" he asked cutely and shimmied out of his own pants. This was going to get interesting.

Roderich smirked before licking the crop sexily. "Of course, schatz," he purred before pushing Gilbert back on the bed, a bit more forceful then he would have normally, but he was starting to get a little bothered himself and Gilbert was irritating him.

The Prussian shivered as he was pushed back onto the bed and he smiled, "Oh gutt." He said. "Let me have it." His smile grew even bigger as all he wanted was Austria to enjoy his only time being a seme.

Roderich purred as he traced Gilbert's scars lightly, avoiding the ones he made. "Gladly. Which area first?"

"All the awesome areas, of course." He gave a wink.

Roderich gave another smirk as he continued to trace Gilbert's scars, thinking of how hard to hit. As much as he did want to, and actually did, hit the Prussian, he never actually wanted to hurt him. He did love him after all. He knew which areas he had to avoid since Gilbert was sensitive there. So, where to start?

Gilbert gingerly touched the crop and moved it from where it was at and down, the prude might as well put it to some good use and get him naked. Of course that was what the Prussian thought at least.

Roderich could feel Gilbert's irritation as he straddled him and he bit his lip slightly, frustrated that he wasn't making Gilbert feel as good as he had originally planned or wanted. He tried to make up for it quickly by sliding Gilbert's Prussian flag boxers off of him and swallowing as he took in Gilbert's cock with his eyes. Oh, how bad Roderich wanted it inside him. He quickly grabbed his own growing erection, biting his lip as he tried to steady himself. He couldn't let Gilbert win this. He traced Gilbert's cock lightly with the riding crop, loving the sound of his moans and becoming even more unnervingly aroused.

Gilbert smiled as his boxers were removed. Shivering from the crop, Gilbert moved himself so he was leaning on his elbows and looking at the violet eyed male he loved so much and reached for the other's Austrian's flag boxers and gave them a soft tug.

"Whoa, Austria, you…you don't have any hair…." He said shocked.

Rule 4: Ukes have no pubic hair

"Of course I don't have any hair there, you idiotic fool! Why would I?! It's disgusting and unnecessary!" Roderich snapped, covering himself as he blushed furiously, self-conscious and embarrassed. "You should have slept with me enough times to realize that!"

"I never looked before!" he snapped back and eyed the riding crop. "Just another rule that you fit to being the Uke." He laughed.

The riding crop found its way to the side of the Prussian's head as Austria was now just getting a little pissy.

"Oh Roddy, come on!" he whined as he rubbed the side of his head softly.

"You asked for it, idiot." Roderich hissed, eyes turning ice cold as he whipped Gilbert's stomach hard enough to leave a red mark but avoiding any scars out of pure grace and mercy.

Gilbert hissed from the pain of the crop. "Okay, okay. I get it." He said and tried not to laugh as he continued to find it funny that Roderich found pubic hair so wrong. "Can we move on, I'm getting blue balls."

Roderich gave a snarl of annoyance before tossing aside the riding crop and slamming into Gilbert, not even bothering with lube or a condom.

Giving a slightly louder scream then necessary, Gilbert hissed as tears filled his eyes. He did deserve that one. He gripped the sheets under him as he waited for Roderich to make his next move. "Awesome!"

Rule Six: The Uke must cry and look like he is in extreme pain during sex

"Are those tears I see, Gilbert?" Roderich sneered, biting down on the sensitive spot on Gilbert's neck.

"Fuck. No. They. Aren't. Tears are unawesome." The Prussia said and groaned as he was bit.

"I think they are." Roderich purred as he leaned over to kiss his tears away.

"Prussians don't cry." He said and rested his head back on the pillow as he cleared his ruby eyes of the tears, he was too awesome to cry especially in front of Roderich.

He gave a soft chuckle and kissed his eyelids. "I don't know why you think you can't cry in front of me. I've seen you cry before."

Prussia looked up at Austria and nodded his head, "I know, I know. I hate crying in front of you." He said and leaned towards Roderich and gave him another kiss.

Roderich kissed him softly. "Tears aren't a sign of weakness, libe. They're a sign that you've been strong for too long. I told you that already." He murmured softly.

"I know." He said softly, "Do you remember when we first met?" he asked with a smile, "And how someone was too much of a prude to admit he liked me." He laughed and moved into a better position and groaned.

Roderich rolled his eyes but smiled fondly as the memories resurfaced.

Rule Two: Every man who claims to be straight, simply doesn't know that he is gay, yet

Walking into the world meeting for the first time, ever. Gilbert had his hands in his pockets as he walked with Germania to the open Roman theatre.

Smaller countries were joining them as everyone took a seat where they had to be.

Gilbert sat back in his seat and looked around as Germania checked on all of the younger ones, like the other boys around him. That was when one caught his eye. Standing up the silver haired male walked over to the male with the glasses.

"I'm the awesome kingdom of Prussia!" he proclaimed. Germania had always told him to make friends.

Roderich looked at the other teen with distaste and snorted. "You forgot arrogant." He sneered.

"Well then who the hell are you, prissy pants?" he asked and put his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Austria." He replied simply, ignoring the teen's hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Well, nice to meet you Specs." He smirked some at the shorter male before he had to walk away and back to where he was sitting.

After the meeting, Gilbert had been able to find the Austrian boy from earlier. "Hey!" he called out to the male trying to get his attention, that shouldn't be too hard though being that he, was so awesome.

Roderich rolled his eyes and kept walking, hoping the arrogant fool would get bored and move on. He didn't have time for nonsense. He had a concert to organize and he couldn't afford to be late.

Gilbert gave a small huff, "Hey!" he called again and ran up to catch up with the male, "Hey, I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out?" he asked. He wanted to get to know this male for some reason, it was like there was something pulling him towards the male with glasses.

Roderich shot him an annoyed glance. "I'm afraid I'm not able to." He said, little regret in his voice.

"That's not awesome." The red eyed male said and stopped from following the male for a moment, "What are you so busy doing?" he asked.

"I have a concert to organize." Roderich raised an eyebrow as if it was an obvious fact. "Then I have a date."

"You play pr-." He stopped himself from saying something rude. He felt his face turn red hearing the other was going on a date. "uh…" he caught up with the male again.

"What?" Roderich tilted his head cutely, looking at the albino curiously.

"I mean, I'm awesome enough as it is, but could you teach me how to play something?" he asked.

Roderich looked at him with interest. "And what are you thinking of playing?"

"Uhm…What do you like to play?" he asked. He wanted to get to know Roderich even more then when he wanted to get to know others.

"Piano," Roderich answered with a small smile.

"Jah, teach me the piano." He said with a big smile.

Gilbert smiled at the memory, "I'm terrible at the piano." He laughed and kissed Roderich softly on the lips.

"No you're not." Roderich murmured softly. "I love it when you play. However, I love it when you play the flute more."

Smiling at the comment, "Danke." He said.

The two continued their actions of passionate love making that went on for…hours… was the easiest way to put it.

Their yelling and swearing filled the room until the two of them couldn't do it anymore.

The only women allowed in yaoi is Hungary

Roderich panted heavily as he laid on top of Gilbert, smiling triumphantly, as he kissed him sweetly. "Did I do okay?" He murmured.

"Jah, it was awesome." He said.

The door was kicked open as the one and only Lizzy was standing there at the door with her camera in hand. "Must get the yaoi." She said.

"GOTT VERDAMMIT!" Roderich shrieked before falling off the bed.

Gilbert laughed seeing Roderich on the floor and got up, "Liz, get out!" he said and pushed the crazy yaoi fan girl out of the room. They had no time for this.

Once she was gone Gilbert helped Roderich up off the floor, "So, that was awesome, just going to say…But…We really didn't break any of those rules from that website." He said with a huff.

"Yes we did." Roderich pouted.

"No…No we didn't Roddy."

"Gott Verdammit!"

"Roderich!"

"Was? You can cuss, but I cant!?"


End file.
